Don't Sacrifice Your Own Happiness

-

don't sacrifice your own happiness


It is impossible to successfully make other people happy when you're unhappy yourself. It's important that we all understand the fact that our own happiness is very important.

Most people would like to buy into the idea of sacrificing their own happiness so that other people will be happy.

I think this idea is flawed because in sacrificing your own happiness, you end up unhappy while trying to make other people happy. Does it make sense to you?

Why do we often forget that it's very possible to make other people happy while also being
happy ourselves? Why do we have to sacrifice one to gain the other?

Your own happiness really matters. You can be happy while making other people happy. You can make loving sacrifices only when you're truly happy!

When a happy person makes a sacrifice, it doesn't feel like a sacrifice to him/her because even the act of sacrificing makes him genuinely happy! An unhappy person would grudgingly making sacrifices and heap with expectations, because he doesn't feel any joy in making the sacrifice.

Will you be happy knowing that someone makes a sacrifice for you, just to trap you into doing something by force for him/her? Is that a sacrifice built on love or an ulterior motive?

Does a happy person expect anything from anybody? No. A happy person goes on being happy and derives joy in whatever he/she does. The happiness is very infectious.

The concept of sweeping your own happiness under the carpet to make someone else happy looks absurd to me.

There is another negative side to happiness and that is trying to be happy at the detriment of other people's happiness.

You can't make everyone sad and expect to be happy. That's selfishness and it's different from what I'm talking about.

Selfishness is a vice. It makes you focus only and always on yourself at the expense of others. It creates more enemies for you than you may know.

Since sacrificing our happiness is as terrible as being totally selfish. How do we strike the balance? The balance lies at the intersection of both.

You can have your own personal ambitions that make you happy while making others happy as well.

It looks difficult to find the intersection point, but we must recognise that it's there and it's best we take pains to find it rather than choose any side of the coin.

It all still boils down to you. Are you really happy doing whatever you're doing? Are you really deriving joy from it? Is it making other people happy? Are you sure about your answers?

If we're on track, our answers should be Yes, Yes and Yes.

Don't waste your life sacrificing your happiness. Don't waste your precious time doing what you clearly hate. Stop trying to please people when you're clearly unhappy. It won't work. You were created and meant to be happy.

Find the balance point and be happy while making others happy. When you're genuinely happy, it reflects in everything you do. People will feel the joy and passion you have when you're happy.


I think I'm thinking too much again.

Okay, till next time. :)

Nigel

Comments

Post a Comment

Leave your comment or share

Popular on this Blog

What Happened To Victor Pride of Bold and Determined?

-
Image
So after so many months without visiting his blog, I tried to visit boldanddetermined.com for some fired up articles only to get a surprise.. that the blog has been permanently closed and then there's podcast following from Vic Pride (now Brother Nicholas) claiming that He's now Born again and has given his life to Jesus Christ. I didn't know how to feel. Whether it's good news or bad news will ultimately be up to us, but I just think I should share my thoughts about it here. But before that a brief background story. Victor Pride has been running the motivational blog bold and determined since 2011 and he has actually inspired and motivated a lot of young men and women to break out lazy attitudes/habits to live the life of their dreams.  Even though, I never really agreed with quite a number of his ideas about God, religion, the government, women etc, I still saw the truth in some of the things he said. And he had a very unique way of writing with gives you that adrenal...
Read more

Why You Should Be Careful With An "I don't Care" Attitude

-
Image
You've probably heard people say things like "I don't care what anybody thinks." "I don't give a damn" "I don't care anymore" and other words like that. The "I don't care" attitude is becoming quite popular and of course it comes with a good feeling. This attitude can actually be helpful if it motivates you to keep trying where other people have failed or it helps you become a better and a much happier person. But sometimes, this attitude can arise out of pure stubbornness and laziness. Many relationships among people have failed because of this. Some people don't care at all about another person but just themselves and their needs forgetting that their needs are dependent on the needs of other people. It is important to actually care to know the truth and properly look into our consciences before we adopt an I don't care attitude towards anything. Are you adopting it because you are convinced you're on a ...
Read more

The Definition Of A True Man

-
Image
In today's world, it seems as though the definition of a man is getting more debased day by day. Value systems seem to have changed and being a man appears to now be centered on ephemeral, distasteful and immoral behaviour. Here on this blog, you'll get the truth on the definition of a true man. Yesterday, I got into an argument with a male colleague at work. Ordinarily, I try my best to avoid any form of arguments except when absolutely necessary. This was one of those exceptional days. We were all having a wonderful discussion about things we need to know in making the right choice as regards a life partner for marriage and everyone of us was sharing their candid opinions and learning from those shared by others. Then, the young man who was standing aside joined in and started saying that we were all talking nonsense. He continued by saying that only his opinion was valid because he had slept with so many different women to the extent he had lost count. I didn...
Read more

Love Someone with Similar Energy Levels or Expectations

-
Image
I was discussing with a friend few days ago when the idea hit me to really share this blog post because I feel it's important people in relationships know this. Now for a second, imagine two people in love. Let's call them Romeo and Juliet. Romeo really loves Juliet and she also loves him just as much. But their relationship isn't going great despite the love they have for each other. Juliet calls Romeo on a daily basis to check up on her. To her, that's how she expresses that she loves and cares for him. She also makes efforts to see him regularly.  Romeo on the other hand despite loving Juliet, doesn't want to call her every day. He only wants to speak to her once or twice a week. Calling someone twice a week for Romeo is the height of loving someone as he isn't really into calls. To him his biggest expression of his genuine love can only allow him want to hear from her twice a week. At some point Juliet begins to worry and think about why she has to...
Read more

Be Good For No Reason

-
Image
I think this world would be a lot better if we could all be good for  no reason. If we make it a point of duty to simply be good to other people and to our immediate environment. If we could form the habit of doing good without any expectation and being good  to our community for no reason, there  would be dramatic change. But the big question lies in the definition of being good. On what basis can we say for sure that the actions we intend to take is a good one? Is it culture? Is it morality? Is it the scriptures? For the  purpose of this blog post, being good here means showing love to others and helping them out when you can. It means being able to connect with the feelings of other people and help them solve any of their problems in any little way you can. Actions that can be classified as being good could be: buying food for someone without them asking, visiting the motherless babies and providing them with the gifts you can, giving to a beggar or a ...
Read more

Poor Parenting Deeply Affects Our Society

-
Image
Poor parenting is considered one of the most important public health issue facing our society today. It has a lot of serious impact on children and it appears society is not even paying attention to this growing menace. Forms of poor parenting range from child abuse, physical abuse, emotional neglect and emotional abuse of children. Poor parenting affects a child's development and makes them more susceptible to mental health issues. Most of the bad eggs of society are products of bad parenting. People who are prone to drug use, substance abuse, chronic alcoholism, violence, teenage pregnancy and crimes can all be traced to poor parenting! The reality is that many people do not know how to be parents! This is not taught in school and older parents do not even take the time to teach their younger ones ready to go into marriage how they can be good parents because to most of them, "You learn it on the job." So it is the mindset of a lot of people that they will figure out ho...
Read more

The Definition Of A True Woman

-
Image
Previously, I wrote an article on the definition of a true man . It would be fair enough to also write and article for the women who read this blog. Women are beautiful, lovely and sensitive creatures way different from men in a lot of things both mentally and physically. They are special in their own way and also play very important roles in our society. Just like in the case of the men, value systems seem to be changing for women too. Most women seem to rate themselves these days based mainly on their looks. They spend so much time and money in ensuring they look very good, clean and posh. They can do anything to look attractive and get attention. Some even go to the extent of almost going nude on social media just to feel good about themselves and get reassuring likes . Painfully, most of these same women don't pay attention to what is inside of them. They often neglect the unseen qualities which make them who they truly are. There are some women who boast about ...
Read more

Nothing Comes For Free

-
Image
A lot of people complain that they don't have some things they really deserve or that despite their hardest work, they achieve very little. Therefore, they are discouraged in whatever they do and tend to stop giving out their best. For some other people, it appears that they do very little work and all the money is following them. They don't have to stress themselves like others, but money just keeps chasing them. "Why is life this way?" they ask. "Life is not fair. " they scream. Some start trying to explain it by saying its the hands of fate and not everyone has the same destiny. When they're satisfied with whatever excuse they've cooked up, they're comforted in their misery and quit trying. Here's the truth... Life is completely fair. Life has been so well arranged that everyone gets exactly what they deserve. It appears some people have it easier when you only look at where they are presently.
Read more

Worried About What People Think?

-
Image
I was inspired for this week's article by two posts I saw from Gary Vee and Michelle Obama, and the heartfelt conversations I had with a loved one on life in general. The post from Gary Vee says 99.9% of people that judge you or have opinions about you have no idea what is actually happening in your life, and it went further to beg the question: how can you value their judgment when they don't even know you? The post made a whole lot of sense because most times a lot of us are insecure; insecure because we worry too much about what people will think about us. This all seems fair, natural, and usually appears to be the right thing for us to do. We want people to see us as doing what is right, as living according to their expectations, and for our lives to be seen as "progressive." Therefore, it comes naturally to be concerned about how people are judging or perceiving us. It also comes that way, I guess, as a way of naturally protecting ourselves. In the past, people h...
Read more