Let's Get Real About Love

-
let's get real about love

Let's get real here about this issue of being in love. I'm not going to be playful about it. I'd be as plain as I can ever be. Forget everything you've seen in the movies or read about love. Let's just be honest and practical here.

Everyone here on earth I believe needs love and appreciation. I've not met anyone who doesn't. If you claim you don't, I think you should think again. I believe we all want someone who loves us just as much as we love them.

Here's the thing: We want to be loved, but often times we are not willing to love someone in that same way that we want to be loved. We want to be loved 'more' than the other party. We want to develop a sense of pride knowing that no matter what we do, the other party will still love us. But in reality, it doesn't work that way because the love becomes selfish. And when selfishness enters any love, it doesn't last.

You need to understand that just as you need someone who will love you so much,  other people need someone like that too. You don't throw the need of the other person outside. The equation will always be unbalanced and the relationship is bound to fail when one side is dysfunctional.

Why would you expect someone to have undying love for you when you don't have undying love for them? This is where the problem lies. To be happy in issues of love, you must be with someone who is willing and ready to love you just as much as you love them. Someone who is willing to take risks and make sacrifices for you just as you are willing to do same for them.

Most relationships fail because of the useless ploy to be loved "more" than the other. Love is meant to be mutual.

Don't fall in love with anyone out of pity. If you don't love them just as much as they love you, kindly take your leave. Likewise, if they don't love you or care about you just as much as you do, disengage yourself too.

Wait for the right person.. the person who will truly love you, understand you, cherish you and be ready to appreciate your mutual love as well. If you've found that person, never let that person go. Such a love is unbounded and unlimited because there is no game, record keeping, selfishness or pride involved.

Don't also beg anyone to love you too. Always be free to show love to someone you admire, but if they're not willing to reciprocate or they don't love you same way, don't stay there and try too hard to please them. They are not right for you.

Never be selfish to the extent of wanting love from someone when you know you don't love them the same way. It's dangerous and it's not the way. Clearly let people know you are not interested and don't play ball with their feelings.

If we learn to be more real about the issues of love and cut out the bull shit, we'd be in a better position to find our ideal soul mates and have more fulfilling love life and relationships.

-Nigel















Comments

Post a Comment

Leave your comment or share

Popular on this Blog

Why You Should Be Careful With An "I don't Care" Attitude

-
Image
You've probably heard people say things like "I don't care what anybody thinks." "I don't give a damn" "I don't care anymore" and other words like that. The "I don't care" attitude is becoming quite popular and of course it comes with a good feeling. This attitude can actually be helpful if it motivates you to keep trying where other people have failed or it helps you become a better and a much happier person. But sometimes, this attitude can arise out of pure stubbornness and laziness. Many relationships among people have failed because of this. Some people don't care at all about another person but just themselves and their needs forgetting that their needs are dependent on the needs of other people. It is important to actually care to know the truth and properly look into our consciences before we adopt an I don't care attitude towards anything. Are you adopting it because you are convinced you're on a
Read more

What Happened To Victor Pride of Bold and Determined?

-
Image
So after so many months without visiting his blog, I tried to visit boldanddetermined.com for some fired up articles only to get a surprise.. that the blog has been permanently closed and then there's podcast following from Vic Pride (now Brother Nicholas) claiming that He's now Born again and has given his life to Jesus Christ. I didn't know how to feel. Whether it's good news or bad news will ultimately be up to us, but I just think I should share my thoughts about it here. But before that a brief background story. Victor Pride has been running the motivational blog bold and determined since 2011 and he has actually inspired and motivated a lot of young men and women to break out lazy attitudes/habits to live the life of their dreams.  Even though, I never really agreed with quite a number of his ideas about God, religion, the government, women etc, I still saw the truth in some of the things he said. And he had a very unique way of writing with gives you that adrenal
Read more

The Definition Of A True Man

-
Image
In today's world, it seems as though the definition of a man is getting more debased day by day. Value systems seem to have changed and being a man appears to now be centered on ephemeral, distasteful and immoral behaviour. Here on this blog, you'll get the truth on the definition of a true man. Yesterday, I got into an argument with a male colleague at work. Ordinarily, I try my best to avoid any form of arguments except when absolutely necessary. This was one of those exceptional days. We were all having a wonderful discussion about things we need to know in making the right choice as regards a life partner for marriage and everyone of us was sharing their candid opinions and learning from those shared by others. Then, the young man who was standing aside joined in and started saying that we were all talking nonsense. He continued by saying that only his opinion was valid because he had slept with so many different women to the extent he had lost count. I didn'
Read more

Love Someone with Similar Energy Levels or Expectations

-
Image
I was discussing with a friend few days ago when the idea hit me to really share this blog post because I feel it's important people in relationships know this. Now for a second, imagine two people in love. Let's call them Romeo and Juliet. Romeo really loves Juliet and she also loves him just as much. But their relationship isn't going great despite the love they have for each other. Juliet calls Romeo on a daily basis to check up on her. To her, that's how she expresses that she loves and cares for him. She also makes efforts to see him regularly.  Romeo on the other hand despite loving Juliet, doesn't want to call her every day. He only wants to speak to her once or twice a week. Calling someone twice a week for Romeo is the height of loving someone as he isn't really into calls. To him his biggest expression of his genuine love can only allow him want to hear from her twice a week. At some point Juliet begins to worry and think about why she has to
Read more

Be Good For No Reason

-
Image
I think this world would be a lot better if we could all be good for  no reason. If we make it a point of duty to simply be good to other people and to our immediate environment. If we could form the habit of doing good without any expectation and being good  to our community for no reason, there  would be dramatic change. But the big question lies in the definition of being good. On what basis can we say for sure that the actions we intend to take is a good one? Is it culture? Is it morality? Is it the scriptures? For the  purpose of this blog post, being good here means showing love to others and helping them out when you can. It means being able to connect with the feelings of other people and help them solve any of their problems in any little way you can. Actions that can be classified as being good could be: buying food for someone without them asking, visiting the motherless babies and providing them with the gifts you can, giving to a beggar or a homeless person, vo
Read more

The Definition Of A True Woman

-
Image
Previously, I wrote an article on the definition of a true man . It would be fair enough to also write and article for the women who read this blog. Women are beautiful, lovely and sensitive creatures way different from men in a lot of things both mentally and physically. They are special in their own way and also play very important roles in our society. Just like in the case of the men, value systems seem to be changing for women too. Most women seem to rate themselves these days based mainly on their looks. They spend so much time and money in ensuring they look very good, clean and posh. They can do anything to look attractive and get attention. Some even go to the extent of almost going nude on social media just to feel good about themselves and get reassuring likes . Painfully, most of these same women don't pay attention to what is inside of them. They often neglect the unseen qualities which make them who they truly are. There are some women who boast about
Read more

Poor Parenting Deeply Affects Our Society

-
Image
Poor parenting is considered one of the most important public health issue facing our society today. It has a lot of serious impact on children and it appears society is not even paying attention to this growing menace. Forms of poor parenting range from child abuse, physical abuse, emotional neglect and emotional abuse of children. Poor parenting affects a child's development and makes them more susceptible to mental health issues. Most of the bad eggs of society are products of bad parenting. People who are prone to drug use, substance abuse, chronic alcoholism, violence, teenage pregnancy and crimes can all be traced to poor parenting! The reality is that many people do not know how to be parents! This is not taught in school and older parents do not even take the time to teach their younger ones ready to go into marriage how they can be good parents because to most of them, "You learn it on the job." So it is the mindset of a lot of people that they will figure out ho
Read more

Nothing Comes For Free

-
Image
A lot of people complain that they don't have some things they really deserve or that despite their hardest work, they achieve very little. Therefore, they are discouraged in whatever they do and tend to stop giving out their best. For some other people, it appears that they do very little work and all the money is following them. They don't have to stress themselves like others, but money just keeps chasing them. "Why is life this way?" they ask. "Life is not fair. " they scream. Some start trying to explain it by saying its the hands of fate and not everyone has the same destiny. When they're satisfied with whatever excuse they've cooked up, they're comforted in their misery and quit trying. Here's the truth... Life is completely fair. Life has been so well arranged that everyone gets exactly what they deserve. It appears some people have it easier when you only look at where they are presently.
Read more

Worried About What People Think?

-
Image
I was inspired for this week's article by two posts I saw from Gary Vee and Michelle Obama, and the heartfelt conversations I had with a loved one on life in general. The post from Gary Vee says 99.9% of people that judge you or have opinions about you have no idea what is actually happening in your life, and it went further to beg the question: how can you value their judgment when they don't even know you? The post made a whole lot of sense because most times a lot of us are insecure; insecure because we worry too much about what people will think about us. This all seems fair, natural, and usually appears to be the right thing for us to do. We want people to see us as doing what is right, as living according to their expectations, and for our lives to be seen as "progressive." Therefore, it comes naturally to be concerned about how people are judging or perceiving us. It also comes that way, I guess, as a way of naturally protecting ourselves. In the past, people h
Read more