How To Show People You Value Them

Hi guys,

Been a while! Lots of things happening around the world right now and nobody even knows what will happen next! There are ongoing protests right now over racism and police brutality and Covid 19 is still making headlines. These are really tough times for everyone as economies are struggling and social distancing is becoming a norm.

Despite these present realities, you don't have to alienate yourself from people or keep too far away from them because of social distancing. Right now more than ever, it is very important you show people that they matter to you and you value their relationship and friendship. Here are six tips you can take advantage of:

1. Engage them from time to time

We are all busy, that's true! I agree to that statement even though (on a lighter note) I think most of us are busy doing nothing.. haha. However, no matter how busy we are or think we are, we must discipline ourselves to make out time to engage with the people we care about. We all have 24 hrs in a day. If you sleep 10hrs(I hope you don't spend this much time sleeping though), you have 14 hrs left. If you work 9-5, you have 6 hours left for yourself. Out of those 6 hrs, taking out about 5-10 minutes only each day to contact people and at least ask how they are doing won't actually hurt you. 

It's good you try to reach out to at least one different person everyday. It mustn't be same person always, but just look through your contacts and engage someone. Engaging people you value few times a week actually means a lot to them rather than ghosting on them for a long time then returning in months to know what's up.

2. Respond Quickly When They need your Attention

The saying goes, "a friend in need is a friend indeed". When people need your help or expertise on something that is bugging them, how you react to them at that point actually matters a lot to them. You need to practice being there for the people you value each time they need you. Your prompt support and attention when they need you is worth more than money to them.

You have to understand that for them to need your attention or seek your help is an opportunity for you to solidify the relationship you have with them. If you usually don't care, return your calls or even text back your peeps when the reach out to you, it only means one thing to them ; "you do not value them"

3. Offer any form of assistance to them when you identify their need

People need to know you value them through your actions and how you are willing to support them in their goals and aspirations. This sounds a bit selfish and you may ask, "why are they not willing to support me either?" But the truth is: "we are all selfish in one way or the other!" And if you are waiting for people you value to do things for you before you offer your assistance or do things for them, you may be waiting for a lifetime.. lol.. And moreover, your relationship with them will be affected.

So what does a bold winner do? He/She takes the initiative. You don't wait for people you value to do stuff for you before you reciprocate. You can set the pace. Discuss with them, find out what their problems are and try to see how you can help them mitigate those problems. It must not be monetary, it may be pointing them to people, opportunities or helpful advice that can make their situations better. They will respect you, value you more and have the urge to help you too. I have tried it and it always works. The more you help people, the more they want to reciprocate the gesture. Win-Win!

4. Support Their Vision

We all have big dreams and bid ideas of what we want to achieve and where we want to be. That's what keeps us going, that's what inspires us and that is what gives us the hope to keep striving and never give up! The people you are really close to and the people you value also have their visions for the future as well. You will show them how much you value them by supporting those dreams. 

Don't bring them down or make them look stupid when they share their big plans with you. It may not look serious to you, but to them, you are hurting their pride and belief in themselves when you talk down their vision or refuse to support them. Rather than show a lack of support, you can help the reshape their vision into something better than what they presently have. Never look down on their vision, be willing to support or make positive recommendations where necessary.

5. Don't Forget their birthdays!

Birthdays are special to a lot of people. It's a day when you must make the people you value feel loved and appreciated. One of the worst sins you can commit is to forget the birthday of someone you value! It might not be intentional. Yes, I agree you may forget or maybe you had an important meeting and you never found time.. Whatever is the excuse, the person will not understand it that way. 

They may listen to your excuses later and nod, but deep down(subconsciously), they begin to feel you do not have time to even celebrate them on their birthday. I used to be guilty of this, but what helped me was, I started using web tools to track birthdays of people in my life and I set reminders to alert me whenever a birthday is coming up. Since then, I rarely miss any special birthdays. I call them, spend time talking with them and wishing them well. I even send them a gift if possible. They don't know how I am tracking these birthdays and stuff, what really matters to them is that I remembered and made them feel special. So, take advantage of tech tools and social media to never forget birthdays.

6. Compliment them and get them surprise gifts

Everyone likes a good compliment and so do the people you value. Are they looking good? Tell them. Did they get a nice hair cut? Tell them. Are they putting on a new nice looking dress? Tell em. Did they make you proud by a recent project they completed? Tell em! Are you proud of the way they delivered their presentation? Tell em. Was their voice sounding great during rehearsals? Please and please, tell em! We will never run out of compliments by telling em!

There is always something good you can say to people you value when you meet with them in person or communicate with them far away. Find those good things and just tell em! You have nothing to lose. You make them feel better and you brighten their day with those words. Other than words(if you have the means), sometimes get them something really nice that the will appreciate. Perhaps, they have been hinting on something they need to get or maybe you have observed they may like a particular commodity, get it for em. They will value you for that.

I guess that sums it up. Go forth and show those people you really value them. The world will be a much more beautiful place for you and me if we can show other people we care and they are inspired to do likewise. Covid or no Covid, we are humans and together we will create a better world; one where everyone has the potential and opportunities to be a bold winner!

Until Next Time,

Just Keep Winning! 

I'm rooting for you 24/7!

Nigel.