Free Yourself: The Power of Letting Go When People Refuse to Change

Sometimes, letting go can be a good thing.

You can't expect some people to change or worry about why they are the way they are. If you've highlighted what you don't like about someone or their behavior and they repeatedly show you they are unwilling to change or make efforts to be better, you put an unnecessary burden on yourself and sometimes hate in your heart for them.

This is because you expect them to change, but your expectations aren't met. If you keep hoping that somehow these persons will change despite repeated evidence to the contrary, you will weigh yourself down and deplete your own creative energy while this person you are expecting to change lives freely and ignorantly, with no remorse.

Who's losing? You or the person you're hoping will change? One person is unhappy, seriously bothered, and losing creative energy. The other person is most probably unaware of your plight as they have refused to make changes, and they are happy going about their lives.

So what's the solution? Knowing you expect another to change some bad behavior but they aren't listening or making an effort to change, the solution is to ignore, drop your expectation and let them be. Ignore this person. When you ignore someone after repeatedly trying and no changes are observed, you take away the power such persons have over you.

It is the remembrance of the multiple times you've tried and the constant hope and expectations that the person will change which perpetuates that burden, that sadness, that unhappiness you feel about anyone's behavior.

And the remembrance is rooted in the refusal to ignore this person and just drop the expectation that they will change.

Ignoring and dropping expectations from someone who has repeatedly shown you they can't change will free your mind and soul to recharge your energies and use your energy to work on the normal responsibilities you have, rather than using someone else's behavior as a criterion to determine how happy you should feel and how motivated you should be to take on your responsibilities.

Still act right and be yourself, be true to your personality and have your genuine reasons for your actions and behavior, but never let your feelings, mood, or emotions be determined by the actions of someone who clearly does you wrong and refuses to change.

That's stupidity, and that's setting yourself up for disaster.

When you're in any form of relationship with anyone, both parties must be willing to put in something to make the relationship work. There must be mutual respect as well.

If in that relationship someone points out something they aren't okay with, it's the responsibility of the other party to make some adjustments to ensure the other's discomfort is considered. Healthy communication and dialogue help each reach a mutual understanding.

But when discomforts are expressed and one party vehemently and repeatedly shows they don't care about your concerns, it's a clear sign that you should leave such a relationship and that you are being disrespected.

Mistakes happen, and people make mistakes from time to time, but constantly repeated mistakes which someone is aware of are no longer mistakes.

This is the right attitude to have when someone's refusal to change affects you so much. It's the way to live above the negative.

Ignore them after repeated warnings, gracefully walk away from such a relationship, and use your energy to create, build, and walk into relationships that recognize you, value you, and honor your God-given spirit.

Doing so is the respect you owe to yourself.

Keep winning!

-Ike