Do You Like Yourself?

I recently came across a video interview where someone shared an insight that resonated deeply with me. He explained that what helps him relate well with others is the awareness that he already likes/loves himself as he is. His sense of self-worth isn’t dependent on whether people like him or not.

This realization was profound for me. He pointed out that those who base their self-esteem on others’ opinions or projections often end up the unhappiest. The reason is simple: people’s opinions are bound to change. If your self-worth hinges on someone else’s perception, then your sense of self will inevitably fluctuate whenever their opinion shifts.

This puts you in a powerless position, leaving you helpless and without control over your confidence. Unfortunately, society conditions us to be this way. From family to friends to the larger community, we are naturally inclined to seek belonging and approval.

In our desire to impress and be valued within these groups, we often unknowingly hand over our self-worth to others. We prioritize acceptance over authenticity, which traps us in a cycle where our self-esteem becomes contingent on how others treat us. Even though we may not realize it, we lose control of our intrinsic value and allow it to be dictated by the behavior of those around us.

Now, as social creatures, it’s essential to be part of groups, contribute positively, and feel loved, accepted, and respected. These connections enrich our lives. However, we must not let this natural need lead us to surrender our self-worth. Our responsibility is to draw boundaries; to hold on to our intrinsic sense of value and self-appreciation.

When we retain this foundation, we function at our best and contribute authentically to the groups we want to please. True contribution doesn’t mean blind agreement or compliance. Many people mistakenly believe that being a good group member requires aligning with the majority at all costs. But this mindset stems from giving away your self-worth. It fosters fear; the fear that differing opinions or actions might lead to rejection.

However, standing firm in your beliefs, rooted in genuine self-respect, allows you to assert your value without fear. You can respectfully disagree, knowing your worth isn’t tied to others’ approval. When you hold this mindset, whether the group agrees or not, it doesn’t diminish your sense of self because you already value yourself.

This authenticity empowers you to act, function, and contribute meaningfully to social groups. It ensures that your participation is driven by a desire to add value rather than by fear of being different. Ironically, when you stand your ground with integrity, people often respect you more, especially when they realize the validity of your perspective.

Their respect becomes a testament to the importance of being authentic rather than conforming just to fit in. But crucially, this respect from others doesn’t define your self-worth; it’s merely a confirmation that authenticity matters.

It’s far better to be the “odd one out” with your self-worth intact than to be the “most liked” only to crumble when the group’s opinion shifts. People should love and appreciate themselves enough to want the best for themselves and those around them; without tethering that love to the ever-changing tides of others’ approval.

The role of social groups is to provide a space for contribution and connection. It’s not about basing your self-worth on their acceptance. There’s a huge difference. Think about it!

If you don’t already love or like yourself as you are, that’s a problem to address. Your first responsibility is to identify reasons to value and appreciate yourself. It could be anything: overcoming challenges, excelling in a skill, or even appreciating your unique qualities; whether it’s your humor, creativity, or physical traits.

Loving yourself as you are is a powerful starting point. Many struggle with their appearance, but I often ask: who decided what’s “beautiful” or “attractive”? Standards of beauty are subjective, varying from person to person. That’s why you cannot base your self-worth on others’ opinions.

Take time to reflect on what makes you special. Even the smallest details can reveal reasons to value yourself. As you focus on these, your appreciation for yourself will grow. You’ll begin to see how truly amazing you are, and this mental shift will transform your world.

Self-love doesn’t mean stagnation. Strive to improve, set goals, and work hard to achieve them. Every success adds to your sense of self-respect because it proves your ability to overcome challenges. Even during the journey, celebrate your effort and dedication.

It all starts with loving yourself as you are. From there, you’ll find the strength to keep growing and contributing authentically.

I hope you found this article valuable.

Love yourself first, and keep winning!

- Ike